The Castle where I am Safe

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In my cave I am safe. The cave of my thoughts, the cave of my dreams – I am safe there. That cave is where I can hide, where I can be alone. They try to call me back, try to make me like them. But I am not. I will never be. I will always have my cave, the place where I am safe. Most people fear shadows and darkness, but I do not. The shadows welcome me, I come to them without a fear. Of course, these shadows are all in my head. But what is the difference between thoughts and reality anyway? Thoughts and dreams are as real as any other form of life. The mind is not a prison, it does not give me condescending looks like everyone outside my mind does. It is my castle, the place where I can retreat when things are wrong and when the world feels broken. That castle is as real as any. But no one believes this. They do not see what lies in the shadows of my mind. They are too absorbed in the life of the outside. They think that their home is out there. But really, it is inside them, you live within yourself. No one can get you if you live within the walls of your imagination. You are safe.

 

Until of course, someone does get you within the walls of your mind.

 

And that is what happened to me.

 

In the shadows I was, within my castle. All the while, I did not know someone had lain siege upon my mind, trying to break it and force me out. I retreated farther, feeling sure they wouldn’t be able to reach me in the shadows that everyone else fears.

 

But they did.

 

And I found myself outside my cave and castle.

 

There was light and voices. So loud… too loud… It was too much. I tried to find my way back to my cave, but the shadows that led me were gone…

 

The noise, the light… it all pressured upon my consciousness – where was I? Why had I been pulled out?

 

The voices seem to be trying to tell me things…

 

I grope around…

 

Then I open my eyes…

 

I see the world spread out before me…

 

And I realise I’ve been gone far too long.